Twenty minutes in the butterfly house on our way out of the zoo this morning transformed a cranky, whiny kid who didn’t want to walk on his own into a compliant and helpful older brother who then didn’t throw the usual I-don’t-WANT-to-go-home tantrum and (after watching the train pass by twice) got into the van and let me buckle him in with nary a complaint. Amazing. (And totally worth this pregnant mama throwing up when we got home because I didn’t get my lunch on time and got too hungry.)

So we survived our first trip to the ER.* To make a long story short, while we were in St. Louis this past weekend, Ian was climbing on a chair and lost his balance and hit his head on a windowsill. As you can see, four stitches later he is doing just fine and hardly the worse for wear.

I knew when I saw the (really deep!) cut that he would need stitches. I also knew that wounds on the head bleed a lot and that, despite that, I needed to stay calm because Ian would read my fear. I tried. I really did. But, I’m sorry, my BABY had blood running down his face! So much blood—all over him, all over me, all over the carpet and microfiber chair** (which I had actually worried about earlier when Simon scraped his knee near the chair and drew blood), all over the carseat. Seriously, a lot of blood. And, yeah, I panicked. A little. In the whole scheme of things, I think we did alright.

The ER itself was a decent experience, all things considered. They got us in immediately (a toddler’s face covered in blood and and a very frightened mother helped I’m sure). There was no parking, so Jason had to park a couple of blocks away (ugh). The admitting nurse kept telling me, “It looks worse than it is,” which apparently was true because after the initial triage, we waited in a room—long enough for Ian to fall asleep, actually. Then after the drama of getting the stitches (seeing him restrained/helping to restrain him was so, so hard on this mama), we waited again for paperwork (and again, sweet kiddo fell asleep).

I was so sorry to miss dinner with Brook and Lou, Jason, and Chloe, but by all accounts Simon was well behaved and had a good time without us. I can’t even begin to say how thankful I was for our friends.

Jason was, of course, amazing throughout. And later it occurred to me how nice it was to get through the experience together and without any arguing (even in the TAKE THIS EXIT! and NO! TURN HERE! driving moments). I’m so deeply grateful for him and was especially aware of that during this surreal evening. I tried to rehash again with him on the way back home to Lincoln, and his response was so classically Jason: “With all due affection, honey, how many times are we going to have to process this?” So he wrote down his feelings for me, so I would always have a record:

The follow-up literature the hospital gave us said that the scar could be minimized by applying sunscreen once a day for a year. I have mixed feelings about that. In theory, it would be nice to minimize the scar, but realistically, I’m not going to remember sunscreen every day. Also, Jason was a little horrified (or at least feigned horror) at the thought of downplaying Ian’s first “badge of honor.”

* We actually did take Simon to the ER once, but this was our first panicked, bloody, plan-out-what-you’ll-say-to-the-officer-who-pulls-you-over type of trip to the emergency room.
** Apparently, club soda does wonders to remove blood from microfiber and carpet. Blot, don’t rub. Phew!

What are you into right now?

On my nightstand: Jason just got A Dance with Dragons (book 5 in the series a Song of Ice and Fire), so I’ve laid aside all else and picked up A Clash of Kings (book 2).

Want to read: Books 3 and 4 in the aforementioned series, The Omnivore’s Dilemma, Zeitoun, and oh so many more.

TV show worth watching: Can’t wait until Game of Thrones comes out on dvd (a bit of a theme here). Really enjoying White Collar.

Movie I’ve seen (in or out of the theater): Jason and I got to see Tree of Life last week, and he wrote up some good thoughts on it. We also finally watched Harry Potter 7, so now we’re ready for 8.

In my ears: I am loving a mix that Joie Meador made for her wedding a few weeks ago. And I’ve also pulled out Mavis Staples. When we’re in the car, Simon alternatively asks for Joie’s music or Mader Steeps.

What I’m looking forward to next month: Two—yes, two!!—trips. One to celebrate our anniversary (just the two of us!) and one for family getaway. Also, our anniversary (6), my birthday (38), and my sister’s wedding. And even with all that, I’m probably most excited about our “big” ultrasound (and, yes, we hope to find out if this little one is a boy or a girl).

Despite the heat, we had a great day at Lauritzen Gardens and the Durham Museum for this year’s Railroad Days.

More pics of the day on Flickr.

I saw the pattern for this little robe on Made, and realized I could only live two more days without making beach robes for the boys.

I think this may be the first thing I’ve actually sewn for either of the boys. That makes me a little sad, since I have such grand plans to make so many cute things (notice the present tense, ever hopeful). And it was a success! I didn’t yell at anybody (even the machine); it only took three sittings (boys out of the house for the first, boys asleep for the second, and Ian “helping” for the third); and though it has a number of flaws (nobody look too close), I think it turned out super cute.

The pattern comes in three sizes, and I made the medium size with the thought I would try it on both boys and make the second one either small or large, depending on who it fit best. So this one turned out to be Ian’s. After I snapped a few pictures, I took it off him and he threw it down in what I thought was rejection—so sad. But then he picked it up and brought it to me, and I realized his tantrum was actually out of frustration because he wanted to put it back on—and so he wore it all afternoon.

I learned a couple of good lessons and am hopeful that I will get Simon’s finished within the next week or so. It did occur to me that I spent several hours changing a perfectly functional towel into, well, still a towel. But this towel has sleeves. Totally worth it, right?

“Mommy, today I’m going to sing a different kind of song about Jonah. This is about Jonah takes a ride on the Catbus.”

I’m so, so far from the most consistently green/crunchy person around (or, really, the most consistently *anything* person). But as I do make changes in my life—ever so slowly so much of the time—they do tend toward the health-conscious, the environmentally responsible, and the frugal side of things. Perhaps that’s obvious, as it’d be hard to imagine someone consciously making decisions in the opposite direction, but just go with me on this. In theory, I’d like to be considerably more crunchy than I am/we are as a family. But realistically, there are so many aspects to consider—so many habits, so many products, so many projects, so many ideas, so many opinions, so much information—and I know from experience that if I try to make too many changes too fast I get way overwhelmed and end up paralyzed and discouraged.

Some changes seem to take a long time brewing. After considering (and not doing) it for at least three years, we finally took the plunge to participate in a CSA this summer. It has been quite a challenge—in a good way—to use all the beautiful vegetables that we get in the box each week. The best surprise has been how much the boys (especially Ian) have taken to the veggies; I had to cut Ian off of beet greens because I worried what all the fiber would do to his little digestive system.

Other changes are more along the lines of impulse buys. A few days ago I found a recipe for homemade toothpaste on Pinterest and thought it sounded magical. Plus I had a little helper eager to stir the “gredients.” (He also looks like he could host a cooking show. I would totally watch that.)

And, oh good heavens, we will not be making the switch to homemade toothpaste—at least not with this particular recipe. I don’t want to say anything too bad about it because I actually can see how you could get used to it. I think, though, that Jason was relieved when I admitted I didn’t think I could do it. For me it was mainly texture, partly taste—perhaps both. And I suppose that you could tweak it a bit to fix that (more baking soda? more peppermint?), but for now I’m going to concentrate on finding other uses for the rest of the coconut oil.

The same day I made toothpaste, however, I also made some baking soda “shampoo” and apple cider “conditioner.” I’m going to give going ‘Poo Free at least a month. So far, so good.

I’d be so eager to hear what other people do (or don’t do) to be healthy/crunchy/green/frugal/some or all of the above. What books and blogs do you read? What do you make instead of buy? What products do you use? Which ones do you do without? How do you decide? Discuss.

Lately, I have felt quite frumpy about my photography. I didn’t quite get to the point of giving it up entirely or even purposefully taking a break, but (and you may have noticed) I have been sharing fewer photos (and, ahem, less of everything) here on the blog. Also, although I have been more or less keeping up with my dailies, I know in my heart that too many of the shots have more “blah blah blah whatever take a picture every day blah” than “ah what a joy it is to click the shutter” or even simply “this is today; I want to remember this.”

But the good news is that I think this has been a phase—one that I feel myself pulling out of, in fact. I read something this past weekend that gave me some perspective and freedom, which I think was just the thing I needed (well, and I probably need a little inspiration, but that’s coming too): the Pioneer Woman said of her Fourth of July photography efforts, “Of course, I didn’t come away with any award-winning shots…but they definitely captured the memory of last night. And that’s the role I want photography to play in my life.” So, yeah, less worrying about whether I get what I or any one else considers stellar shots and more capturing the moment.

And just to put my money where my mouth is on that particular point:

Grainy, blurry, wonky angle for no particular reason, any number of other flaws. And yet. Just look at the expression on Simon’s face. That’s what I want to remember about this Fourth of July—that wonder, that excitement, that fascinating, fantastic kid of mine. He loved everything about shooting off fireworks with his daddy—the noise, the smoke, the lights, the running after the fuse was lit (no worries; it was all safe enough to make even this nervous mama comfortable). And I loved everything about his loving it—the laughter, the clapping, the “ooohs” and “eeees,” the spontaneous gleeful hugs.

Sometimes it’s hard to stay—that is, be present—in the moment because I’m trying too hard to get the “right” shot, and other times I’m so grateful that I do have my camera (or that someone else does) to capture the fleeting moments that might otherwise have been unnoticed and lost/forgotten. It’s an interesting balance.