Lately, Simon has been really concerned about things running out (or “almost out”), so we spend some time talking about where we might get more. This was this morning’s rundown:

Me: Hey, Simon, we’re almost out of gas. Where should I go to get more?

Simon: A das station!

Me: And what if I need some coffee?

Simon: At da coffee house!

Me: We need some groceries. Where could I go?

Simon: Da gwoooshwee stoe. [That’s “grocery store,” but I bet you got that from the context.]

Me: I need more socks. Where do I get those?

Simon: Hy-Vee.

Me: Hmmm. Okay, what if I need a shirt.

Simon: Hy-Vee too!

Me: How about Target?

Simon: Nooooo. Silly Mommy.

Me: [Trying to throw him for a loop.] Where would I get a new belly button?

Simon: [Without missing a beat.] God!

Simon and I were looking at some pictures this morning.

Simon: Hey, it’s Baby Ian! [He’s been saying “Ee-an” and not just “Een”]
Mommy: How can you tell that’s Ian and not some other baby?
Simon: He’s got white socks
Simon: . . . and a white head.

Part of this morning’s conversation:

Me: Who is Ian’s mommy?
Simon: Mommy!
Me: Who is your mommy?
Simon: Mommy!
Me: Who are mommy’s sons?
Simon: Simon and Een.
Me: Simon, are you littler or bigger than Ian?
Simon: Big!
Me: Right. So what is your relationship? [I was going for “big brother.”]
Simon: He gives me hugs.

Yesterday we took Aunt Rhonda (Da!) to the zoo. We arrived just before lunchtime, so we just did kind of an abridged version of our normal visit (we do almost the same things every time): fed the goats (one little pellet at a time), washed our hands, skipped the eagle’s next, skipped the butterfly pavilion, imitated whatever the wallabies were doing (laying down), marveled at the tortoises, played in the sand (but not for 20 minutes), ran through the sprinkler (but only twice), skipped the monkeys and the spider web, breezed past the camels, walked right on past the gibbons (we usually do anyway), fed the lion (“Paper, paper, paper! I just looooooove eating paper!” It gets in my head every time I hear it), climbed on the playground (but not for 15 minutes), sat on the bear, jumped in the eggs (but not for 10 minutes), pointed out the new chicks, strolled past the otter (he was sleeping), said hi to the turtles, forgot all about the crocodile, created distractions so that Simon didn’t realize we were skipping the bald eagle and the telescope on the way up the hill, and, finally, rode the choochoo (we usually just wave good-bye instead of riding, but it was a special treat with Aunt Da).

My favorite exchange this time:

Me: Hey, Simon, can you tell Rhonda what these big animals are called? Can you tell her they’re camels?
Simon: No, no, no, Mommy. Those are biiiiiig goats!

Me: Hey, what’s your name, Bud?

Simon: Iss Simon [kinda sounds like “Tye-bon”].

Me: Okay, what’s your brother’s name?

Simon: Baby Een.

Me: What’s Daddy’s brother’s name?

Simon: Hans Baby. [We worked on the concept that Hans is Jason’s brother like Ian is Simon’s brother.]

Me: What’s Mommy’s sister’s name?

Simon: Da [Rhonda].

Me: Okay, here’s a harder one: what is Mommy’s daddy’s name? [I was going for “Papa.”]

Simon: [Long pause] . . . Mama’s dada!

I love how much Simon is talking these days. He’s definitely at the stage where it’s helpful to have an interpreter (usually Mommy) around to help give some context for his very sincere storytelling.

Here are a few of Simon’s most commonly used phrases, should you find yourself in conversation with him:

Choo Choo boom! (trans. “The train crashed [went boom]!”)—This likely comes from a Thomas the Tank Engine story. It is often used immediately following a greeting—he likes to dive right into conversation. Common variations include Buzz [Lightyear] boom! and Mama/Dada boom or Choo Choo stnuck no (trans. “Choo Choo got stuck in the snow”).

Oh da. (trans. “Oh, yes”)

Eat doats (trans. “Feed the goats”)—Simon loves to feed the goats at the Lincoln Children’s Zoo. He uses “feed” and “eat” interchangeably, so while “eat doats” is adorable, “Mama eat Baby” (trans. “Mama is feeding Ian” or “Mama, it’s time to feed Baby”) is rather disturbing.

Iss nine up (looking at his wrist) (trans. “It’s nine o’clock. Time to get up.”)—I have no idea where he got this, but he says either as an answer to the question What time is it? or as a protest against bedtime.

Meet Dada (trans. “It’s time to go meet Daddy.”) —Simon loves to walk to meet Jason as he walks home from work. The only problem is that he usually starts asking to go around 4 pm (Jason doesn’t usually get off work until 6).

I no poo poo! I no poo poo!—Well, this one probably doesn’t need translation. He can’t be trusted, though; he often protests even when he does need a diaper change.

I no teenty (trans. “I’m not stinky”)—See previous entry. He’ll also deny it if you say his feet are stinky or if you call him Stinky Pete (a reference to Toy Story 2).

No boots—Most everyone recognizes Simon’s yellow boots. We’ve been trying to wean him off of them, but I think he got so used to people commenting on his boots every time we’d go anywhere (every. time.) that now he feels the need to either point out (to friends or strangers) that he’s not wearing them. (If he is wearing them, he’ll say, “I boots.”)

Do meents (trans. “Two mints [please]”)—Simon is hooked on breath mints and requests them in pairs. He will also accept two “beans” (any kind of small, round candy; originally jelly beans).

Baby Een boo ice (trans. “Baby Ian has blue eyes”)—He will also tell you, “I bown ice” (“I have brown eyes”), Mama and Papa (Grandpa Carlson) have “bown ice”; Dada, Grandpa (Morehead), and Grandma (Morehead) have “boo ice”; and Nana (Grandma Carlson) has “geen ice” (green eyes).

Buzz ond! (trans. “Buzz says, ‘To infinity and beyond!’”)—Another reference to the Toy Story movies.

Dah huh! (no trans.)—He says this with great enthusiasm whenever you repeat back to him what he was trying to communicate.

Geen doghh! (trans. “Green means ‘go’!”)—I couldn’t figure this out for a long time because we’ve been saying it for quite a while with no indication that he understood. He has been saying “Top!” (“Stop!”) for a while now (but he still has no word for “red”).

I no nigh nigh/Iss no nigh nigh (trans. “I don’t want to go to bed/It’s not bedtime”)—Well, what kid does, especially in the summer?

Iss daaahhk, iss night (trans. “It’s dark; it’s night”)—An observation, seemingly unconnected in his mind to bedtime.

Ah done (trans. “All done” or possibly “I’m done”)—Lately he’s been getting up from his naps and saying, “Mama, Ah done nigh nigh.”