Everybody says that Simon and Ian look nothing alike, but sometimes I think everybody is wrong.

Leftover pancakes.
Hot coffee.
Time alone with Simon while Jason and Ian sleep in.
Overcast sky.
Catalpas in bloom.

Editing digital photos is new to me. Until about a year ago, I had no idea that you could “enhance” a photo with iPhoto, and even then, I just knew that sometimes hitting that button made the pic look better and sometimes it didn’t (Undo!). I kind of stalled out there for another six months or so, until I discovered a few other features of iPhoto—pretty basic stuff like cropping and straightening. Boosting or fading color and adjusting saturation (similar but separate actions in iPhoto) came even later for me, and I still don’t really know what some of the sliders actually do. Still, I could play with my library of photos for hours and hours and hours—doing and undoing—and I suspect that if I learn Photoshop (I’m starting to dabble) someone will eventually have to stage an intervention.

In grad school I took a creative nonfiction writing class. We spent a lot of classtime discussing, sometimes heatedly, the definitions and bounds of “creativity” and “nonfiction”—namely, when does a piece take such liberties that it can no longer be considered nonfiction? Over the years there have been several “memoirs” published that some would argue would have more accurately marketed as novels, and in every such case there are those who get really bent out of shape about it. And while I can see their point, I have trouble getting too upset about these things. I figure if it’s a good read, I don’t care much whether it gets shelved alphabetically or in the Deweys.

For my own writing in that class (and I suppose to some extent in all my writing) I had my own set of rules, or at least guidelines, for how stretchy the “facts” could be. Lately I’ve been thinking about some of these same issues as they relate to photography. To completely oversimplify things, let’s call the photos that are straight out of the camera (SOOC) the “facts.” Up to this point I have limited myself to sharing (here on the blog or on our Flickr site) pictures that are SOOC or really close to it—partly out of habit, partly out of ignorance, and partly out of a possibly misguided sense that SOOC was more “true.” As I’m discovering what’s possible in editing digital photos, it’s bringing up all kinds of questions for me about what I’m trying to do with my photography and how much tweaking and changing I’m comfortable with, interested in, or even capable of.

Sometimes the decision to edit or not to is an easy one:

(SOOC)

(Colors adjusted)

Decisions about whether and how to crop can be harder. Cropping changes the composition of the photo, often significantly. Composition is, I think, one of the primary factors that can make or break a photo. My goal is to always be improving my compositions from behind the lens (rather than by cropping), but the reality is that composition isn’t always the first thing I’m thinking about —whether because I’m chasing the fleeting expressions of a two-year-old or because of simple forgetfulness or inattention to detail (that car parked in the background, that basket of laundry). But even when I am thinking about it, there are times I just can’t get the shot I want for any number of reasons—or times that I don’t even see the shot I should have taken until later when I’m reviewing the pics. In any case, sometimes a good crop can change an average shot into something a lot more interesting and dynamic.

(SOOC)

(Cropped)

Sometimes I take a shot that I’d like to keep, but no amount of realistic adjusting or readjusting will make it look right. That’s when it’s fun to just play.

(SOOC)

(Pioneer Woman’s Seventies Action)

I’m finding as I work my way through Project 365 that my purposes and expectations are constantly changing. There are still days when I just want to get the picture taken and couldn’t care less if it’s artistic or good or interesting. Some pictures just can’t be saved:

And that’s okay too, I think.

Sometimes I think I might be too permissive. (Just kidding. Simon did get to lick the beater, but not while it was still on the mixer dripping into the bowl.)

I have several thoughts about this photo. It’s certainly not the best from a technical standpoint, but it does happen to hit on a few of the things that have been rolling around in my head.

We have most definitely entered the blurry toddler years. A lot of photos of Simon are out of focus these days, and only part of that can be blamed on my lacking photography skills. He is on the move. I find myself wanting to have the video camera at the ready because still photos don’t always do justice to a subject that is so rarely still. This photo is a perfect example of me grabbing my camera and hoping that the settings are already right—or at least close enough that the photo can be saved with the adjustments that can be made in iPhoto.

Simon is playing with an old film camera of mine. It’s one of several cameras we have given him to play with—they all work, or would if we could find film for them. This one is particularly satisfying, I think, because even though it has no film, it automatically winds after every shot and he likes the mechanical noise. It makes me a little sad to think that all our film cameras have become toys. I don’t necessarily miss shooting with film, and I have no plans to go back to it at all, but I do sometimes tend to romanticize the physical part of photography—and the delayed gratification—that we’ve all but lost with digital cameras. I remember the thrill of taking a roll of film to be developed and the anticipation of wondering whether or not your shots would turn out the way you hoped. I also remember the disappointment when they didn’t. I was looking through an old photo album at Jason’s folks’ this weekend and thinking how often he had a dopey look on his (admittedly adorable) face. We all did in our childhood photos—that’s the thing about having just one shot. Nobody took seventeen exposures at a time just to make sure you had two or three “good” ones to pick from.

I love watching Simon play; it’s a wonderful mix of imitation and doing it his own way. In this photo (and you can see it a little better in this one) I love that he has the strap around his neck, all properlike, and I especially adore the somewhat awkward grip he has on the too-big camera. He doesn’t seem to care if the camera is right-side-out or backwards when he’s taking the picture, but he always looks at the back to make sure it comes out right (just like we do with the digital camera).

It pleases me to think that he is learning to like some of the same things that we do. This was the conversation he and Jason had last night, in fact:

    “Simon, I like watching Avatar [the anime series, not the sci-fi movie] with you. I think it bodes well for our movie-watching future together. When you get a little older, we’ll watch Star Wars.”
    “Dah [yes]! And Choo Choo [Thomas]!”
    “Yep, and we’ll watch Totoro.”
    “Dah! And Buzz [Toy Story]!”

I like it how we just fit together as a family. I know that it probably seems obvious that a two-year-old would like the things we teach him to like—what else does he know? Nonetheless, I am amazed at how it unfolds.

Jason’s going to love this post. I’m having one of these days. Blame it on the rainy weather (love it), the (caffeinated) coffee I have in my system, that Simon was particularly good this morning while Ian snoozed, that I just finished a really good book (in three sittings in two days), and probably especially on the fact that I have a babysitter at home with the kids and am sitting in the library with my feet up, but I am feeling inspired and happy this morning.

**Important disclaimer: I have a constantly changing mental list of things I want to do and, realistically, it’s not to be confused with a to-do list. In other words, by writing these ideas down today I am not looking for accountability, I’m just blogging and dreaming a little.

In no particular order:

• Rethink my blog and actually do something with it. I’d like to focus on a photoblog, since I take pictures (almost) every day and am trying to let my photography be a creative outlet.
• Tag, geotag, and otherwise organize all our digital pictures, both on our computers and on Flickr.
• Quilt. I’d like to find the quilt I started for our wedding and finish it and to finish the quilt I started making for Jason’s 29th birthday (2005). But most of all, I’d like to make a whole new quilt in this pattern (I haven’t decided yet if I’ll use scraps I have or get new fabric).
• Continue my decluttering rampage, which has been neglected lately for lack of time but not for lack of desire.
• Learn (again) to knit.  I do have a specific project in mind from this book. (I checked his book out of the library because out of 30 projects, there are at least 11 that I could see myself actually doing and, of those, 3 or 4 that I really will do—you know, probably.)
• Read. A lot.
• Set up a sewing room in the basement.
• Paint and otherwise finish decorating and/or furnishing our living room and dining room.
• Make a bunch of these shirts for the boys out of Jason’s old band shirts (this project has been approved pending Jason wearing each shirt one last time).
• Make a quiet book. Or three.

Even though I blurted these out in no particular order, I can see how they will have to line up in a logical progression (e.g., finish decluttering so I can set up a room so I can sew). And, truth be told, I’m finishing this post in the few more minutes I can squeeze from the Simon just woke up from his nap and is groggy time before he starts in with the chorus “Mama done! Mama done!” and trying to close the computer on my hands, so already my idealism is taking a hit. Nothing gets crossed off the list today. I’m off to play blocks.

Reading this daily with Simon, It is excellent, and, best of all, it is making me want to read more of this.
Drinking some tasty coffee from Trader Joe’s. I’m thrilled that Omaha will be getting a TJs later this year.
Watching a lot of Toy Story lately. I think “Buzz” is Simon’s cutest word yet.  He also tries to say “To infinity and beyond!” (that’s what he’s trying to say in this video)—almost all of it is unintelligible but undeniably cute.
Eating two vegetarian meals a week. Tonight we have tofu with tikka masala sauce on the menu. And I think I’ll garnish it with a little cilantro since my cilantro is actually growing!
Going to see Babies with some friends tonight. And still thinking about an article I read the other day about the morality of babies. Babies on the brain, I guess.
Sleeping really well at night, thanks to an exceptionally precious four-month-old who is a champ sleeper and some really cool spring nights that have caused us to turn the heat back on.
Sighing. Looks like naptime is over, and that means so is blogging for now.

You know that feeling that you get when someone is staring at you? Yeah, well, at least few times each day, I get that feeling, and, sure enough, Ian is smiling away, just waiting to be noticed. Oh, man, I love this friendly little dude.

It’s too early to say for sure, but I’m beginning to suspect we might have an extrovert on our hands here.

That’s right. Elmo.

Several years ago, I came to the conclusion that I really didn’t like jazz. I used to want to like it, but eventually I gave up even really wanting to. Sure, I enjoy sitting on the lawn with friends at Lincoln’s Jazz in June once or twice a summer, but beyond that the musical genre just hasn’t been for me.

Enter Elmo.

I really have no idea where he even learned the name—I can promise it wasn’t from me or Jason—but Simon has a genuine affection for “Melmo!” The little red monster was probably one of my least favorite Sesame Street characters—I don’t know why really except that I did find his baby voice and his referring to himself in the third person annoying.  I tried to stave off the Melmo love as long as I could, but Simon is nothing if not relentless, so I found some short Elmo videos online that I can tolerate. Okay, okay, full disclosure: the truth is that after watching these videos again and again and again (and again and again . . . ), they have grown on me to the point where I actually find them quite funny and charming. We pretty much stick to this playlist, but there are a few other ones that we watch now and again.

Whenever Simon gets to pick “doo Melmo” (two Elmos), I secretly hope he picks the one with Kermit the Frog because it brings back good memories of the Sesame Street News skits I watched as a kid or the one of Grover delivering a singing telegram for its genuinely funny lines (e.g., “You can’t shove singing and dancing under the door; they are artistic!”) or the one with Jamie Foxx because the fox’s vocabulary cracks me up. He most often picks the one with Natalie Portman, perhaps because it’s long (I love Portman’s playfulness in that one). Lately, I’ve been liking the one with jazz musician Diane Schuur—it’s a catchy little number, doobe doobe doowah.

So here I am saying that I like both jazz and Elmo—in small to medium doses, at least. File it under Things You Never Thought Would Be True and Then You Had Kids.